Monday, 25 August 2014

Make compromises because YOU ARE A GIRL!!!

It was dinner time. Having not eaten my lunch I felt very hungry and to my utter dismay my mother had cooked “lauki” or what we call “bottle gourd”. It is not new for any teenager to scrunch their nose on hearing this name. No one wants to eat it and almost instantly I lost my appetite. But then I saw hidden below the plate was a bowl that had one of my favourite vegetable. Fried potatoes!! And my hunger returned with all the rats changing to dinosaurs in my stomach. I grabbed my plate and served my food when I heard my mother telling me that, that the fried potatoes I was eyeing were not made for me. They were for my brother. My dislike for lauki shouldn’t have been a surprise for my mother as I have never eaten it and almost when I did it was because I was forced to. What shocked me more was even after knowing this fact very well she cooked potatoes for my brother yet she did not give a thought about me. People would say such a petty thing it is. Whats the big deal about this.
It was a big deal. These small little things are the one that pass with such a silence that their occurrence never hit us. I felt insignificant infront of my much younger brother. I questioned her simply and her reply left me stunned “He cannot eat that.”
“So cant I.”
“You are elder you can.”
“But as a child you always taught me and lectured me on my eating habits.”
“You have to go to another home. He doesn't.”
“Where does this come from? When I get married I will have a right to choose what I want to cook and eat. And this has probably nothing to do with me getting married. When you cooked this vegetable you could have easily increased its amount which you deliberately chose not to.”
“Stop arguing and eat your food. You have lost all sense of respect towards your elders.”
I still can’t fathom where was I disrespectful. All I demanded were equal privileges for me and my brother. If he couldn't eat something why was I forced to eat it. Does my mother not want a healthy life for my brother. Or did she just gave into his demands because she found it difficult to refuse him?
Either ways I felt I did not belong to that place. I am not married right now and still I can’t claim my own house to be mine. After marriage my husband would claim the house I live in as his. Will I never have a home that I can call mine? How easy it is for parents to say you will have to leave this home not even knowing that their words can pierce the mind of a young soul that resides in the body of a growing female. When my own family does not accept me as a part of them how will someone else’s family is supposed to do that?
It is sad that being a girl I have to find my identity in some other male, be it my father, my husband or my son. All my possessions are a subject to their reference. I find it amusing my mother never felt a need for an identity. She is happy being someone’s wife or mother. But I am not. I crave for more. I want to be known with my name and work. I want a house of my own. I want a body that belongs to me and only me. I can’t shackle my soul nor can I live like that. Am I asking for too much?


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