I had a cousin who was younger to me but a very talented
guy. He used to love cooking and writing poetry but then a single phrase
changed his entire outlook towards life.
“Man up buddy”
All his friends used to tease him for his hobbies which were
turning into his passion. They called him names like “the housewife”, “girlie
lad” and what not. Leave aside his friends my own relatives asked him to steer
away from hobbies that are considered feminine. He reasoned them, showed them
cookery shows where all these young handsome males cooked delicacies. He wanted
to be one of them. But alas our society expects men to behave like men!!
Men don’t cry.
Men don’t feel pain.
Men don’t cook .
Men are always in control.
Why? I guess they have been bestowed with equal tear glands
as females. Their nervous system has equal sensory nerves. And probably they
have the right to choose what they want to do. I mean why do men have to behave
in a particular manner to be called as men!! What would I do if I told you wear
only dresses, or skirts or else you are not a female, don’t speak loudly
lest you should be called a tomboy or a
manly girl. Such irrelevant prejudices have led to a basic definition and a certain mannerism in which boys and girls
have to behave in order to be a part of the gender they belong to.
Still whenever we see a man cry instead of letting them be,
we’ll go and give them a short lecture on how to man up. Why? Men feel hurt
equally and they have every right to show it and feel it. They have tear glands
that work as well. They also have
heartbreaks and heartaches that make them vulnerable. It is okay for them to
shed a few tears. But no according to the society men don’t cry. So they
suppress their feelings. Maybe due to bottling up of emotions leads to more
heart attacks in males than females.
If I prick you with a pin on your finger, a drop of blood
will ooze out irrespective of the fact that you are a male or female. Am I
right? So that means we can feel equally? Then why is that men cannot register
their pain?
This entire concept is so flawed that it has given rise to
robots in form of men who work , smile , laugh and do everything as programmed.
Being a girl if I am told not to do certain things because that is not how
girls are expected to behave then I might simply ask where is it written?
For all those men out there
There are no issues if you cry, or tears well up in your
eyes when you are watching an emotional movie. You can shout a loud ouch if
someone steps on your shoes and you can say awwww if you find something cute.
There is no concept called manning up.
It is Be Human guys !!!!
Yes, males & females express their sorrow in a different way . And this difference can be mostly attributed to our age old writers ( have always portrayed man as stone ) & also to practices ( men at war & women at home ) at that times .
ReplyDeleteThings have significantly changed now but then too if a boy gets hurt & starts weeping , his mum consoles him - why are you crying like a girl ?
Thus , even in childhood , indirectly, our so articulated manhood is challenged & we tend to hide our emotions .
If there exists any flaw , then it can be reduced & removed by mums only ,the first lady with whom a boy is emotionally close with .
Exactly..only mothers can brng about da change.....
DeleteJawaharlal Nehru and Atal Bihari Vajpayee, who were and are respected by people from across the political spectrum, have both shed tears an public when they were PMs. This did not diminish people's respect for them.
ReplyDeleteAbout cooking: I'm not sure how many men cook at home, but many, maybe most, chefs/cooks in all types of restaurants are men. Currently, the most popular and respected 'superchefs' are Sanjeev Kapoor and Vikas Khanna. Nothing unmanly about cooking!
I believe that people who are aware that 'manning up' is a flawed concept should spread this awareness.
I reached your blog through Blog Action Day 2014. Why no BAD2014 post?
I certainly had some priority work that day. Yes manning up is a shitty concept and so is that act like a girl one.
ReplyDelete